Your World is Made of Science!

And Science is Made of Your World!!!

The things we take for granted in our everyday world were provided by our old pal, Science. Take that garbage disposal you just used to get rid of the last of the methamphetamine product. It's the marriage of technology and good old fashioned know how.

The telephone you use to talk to the kids at school is one more example of Science making up your world. Electricity is best explained by Science and only Science.

Have you ever wondered what makes that noise inside your head or forces the Westinghouse freezer compartment to emit a high frequency message about the Galactians taking over your body and turning all dogs into trees? Neither have we, no my little friend, neither have we.

So the next time your stumped for a reason why up is down or right is wrong, try to remember that Your World is Made of Science!

Brain Pandemics: Stop these thoughts from becoming reality!!!!

These Thoughts Have a Mind Of Their Own!!!

Here is your list of Brain Pandemics for the week of 10/12/09:

1. Anything with Larry King, especially his CNN talk show, the last vestiges of a radio presence, and that column in USA Today. Why can't we stop this media monster from infiltrating our households?

2. Chia Obama- It was a harmless race joke meant to simply exploit the first black president for a quick Walgreen buck while simultaneously keeping hope alive. Can it be stopped, dear God in heaven, can it be stopped!

3. Videos of Cats Playing Piano or some other craptastic waste of time. It was a lark that became a fad that became a million hits on You Tube and another sign that the Apocalypse is about to move in to the house next door and complain about the noise level at your next barbecue.

4. Reality Shows That Resurrect the Deservedly Dead Careers of Long-Forgotten Celebrities- Dustin Diamond, Scott Baio, Any former member of Motley Crue. Come on, what type of world entertains less entertaining ideas? These shows are more damaging to your eyes than staring directly at an eclipse of the sun.

5. The Hills- At least give them eyes and a creepy horror theme so that we know to stay away from this fright fest of the forever brain dead.

These are the trends, the thoughts, the ideas that are declared highest level brain pandemic for this week

Welcome to the Near Perfect Future with Dr. Sidney Callison

Your mind is defenseless against information!

We are the office of Brain Pan Full, a combination of the greatest minds known to the fields of science and information . We are here to warn you of the folly of tomorrow, the risks of today and the near perfect future. Today we concentrate solely on the world of transportation.

I am sure you are as disappointed as we are at BPF that nobody is reaching their destinations with a rocket jet pack strapped to the precarious shoulders of the human body. You come up with a prototype that doesn't quite meet the strict standards of the government and you're the butt of every scientists' attempt at humor. If I have to hear another joke about Physics outweighing Fission, I'll move to Russia and invent non stick teflon for the gal on the go who can't afford another stay at the Gulag.

Many uninformed individuals will point to the electric car and predict the end of the oil monopoly. Still others will offer a counter argument for hydrogen and write ribbons about the environmental advantages of this new energy. Both would be missing the point of true alternative energy sources. Two words for the next fuel source in the world: Trash Smash.

That's right Brainpanners, all you need to have in any car is provided in the garbage of your home. Most garbage has enough chemicals to start a chain reaction that could re-energize the way we pollute our surroundings. Imagine a world where that car full of left over fast food wrappers is the very stuff that ignites that engine to move forward on the road to progress and more fast food wrappers. It could work, but I doubt anyone will support the research with financial investments , and since that is highly doubtful, I daresay we will come full circle and one day be riding our trusty steed to the oaken bucket general store to once again stall the world of science.

You were warned here first- The near perfect future is right around the corner if we only dare to speak .